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Icing on the cake (of suck)
Feb. 12th, 2008 05:41 pmThe first few months of the year are not good ones for me.
About a week into January the whole "oh shit, it's a new year" thing kicks in and I get hit with the realization of everything that I didn't get done the year before. Right about then I get hit with reminders of some reoccurring debts for things that should have made my life better but didn't. That gives me a week before FC to scrabble around and try to get that settled and prepare for the con.
FC itself is fun and makes me be social and talk with people outside of typing words at them, but it's also a bit of an emotional roller coaster as I listen to everything my friends have accomplished and know that I've done diddley squat myself. Even most of them that are bemoaning one thing or another are doing better, or at least as well, as myself.
I come home and get sick for at least a week after the con. This year it was just a cold, tired and congested but not "OMFG SHOOT ME" sick (my first flu shot ever might have helped on that front this year).
Then I lose a week as I try kicking the last of the cold, doing laundry, and who the fuck knows what else. I don't even know what the fuck I did last week. Other than realize I missed a bill that was due the week prior and swear a blue streak as I pay it and get all gut twisty thinking about where I'm going to get the cash for the late fee.
Which brings me to this week, where I finally realize I'm in another "deeper depressive" phase (since, as far as I can tell, I'm always depressed, I just fake it better at other times) and haul on the metaphorical bootstraps and force myself to get moving on things that need to be done.
So I cleared the snow off the Jeep yesterday and hoped for no snow overnight. Today, after hauling on those bootstraps far too hard for far too long, I managed to get the cans together for the can/bottle return and the plastic bags together for recycling and got them all in the Jeep in preparation for some errands getting done. Not all the errands, not even the ones I should do first, just the ones I know I could get myself to get done today.
So I go to start the Jeep so it can warm up while I scrape the ice off the wind shield... There are no words for the level of frustration and "it fucking figures" feelings I have at the moment. It's a stupid ass thing to be crying over.
The Jeep didn't start. It ran fine before the con but the three weeks since then with the cold weather has sapped that battery again. This happens pretty much every winter. If the battery doesn't revive after I get the Jeep jumped (fighting with the fucking security feature included) I should be able to get it replaced on warranty, again. Assuming I can remember where I put the receipt.
That was just the last straw. The icing on the cake of suck. I don't want to fucking deal with anything else today, but I have to because the only way that Jeep is going to run before Saturday is if I get![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hafoc to give it a jump when he gets home (as opposed to getting him to do it on Saturday). If he will with the Mustang, he might not. Otherwise I get to see if I remembered/could afford to renew my AAA membership and see if they can send a truck over to give me a jump tomorrow.
... And he's home and put the car in before I could grab him to ask about a jump. Fuck it.
About a week into January the whole "oh shit, it's a new year" thing kicks in and I get hit with the realization of everything that I didn't get done the year before. Right about then I get hit with reminders of some reoccurring debts for things that should have made my life better but didn't. That gives me a week before FC to scrabble around and try to get that settled and prepare for the con.
FC itself is fun and makes me be social and talk with people outside of typing words at them, but it's also a bit of an emotional roller coaster as I listen to everything my friends have accomplished and know that I've done diddley squat myself. Even most of them that are bemoaning one thing or another are doing better, or at least as well, as myself.
I come home and get sick for at least a week after the con. This year it was just a cold, tired and congested but not "OMFG SHOOT ME" sick (my first flu shot ever might have helped on that front this year).
Then I lose a week as I try kicking the last of the cold, doing laundry, and who the fuck knows what else. I don't even know what the fuck I did last week. Other than realize I missed a bill that was due the week prior and swear a blue streak as I pay it and get all gut twisty thinking about where I'm going to get the cash for the late fee.
Which brings me to this week, where I finally realize I'm in another "deeper depressive" phase (since, as far as I can tell, I'm always depressed, I just fake it better at other times) and haul on the metaphorical bootstraps and force myself to get moving on things that need to be done.
So I cleared the snow off the Jeep yesterday and hoped for no snow overnight. Today, after hauling on those bootstraps far too hard for far too long, I managed to get the cans together for the can/bottle return and the plastic bags together for recycling and got them all in the Jeep in preparation for some errands getting done. Not all the errands, not even the ones I should do first, just the ones I know I could get myself to get done today.
So I go to start the Jeep so it can warm up while I scrape the ice off the wind shield... There are no words for the level of frustration and "it fucking figures" feelings I have at the moment. It's a stupid ass thing to be crying over.
The Jeep didn't start. It ran fine before the con but the three weeks since then with the cold weather has sapped that battery again. This happens pretty much every winter. If the battery doesn't revive after I get the Jeep jumped (fighting with the fucking security feature included) I should be able to get it replaced on warranty, again. Assuming I can remember where I put the receipt.
That was just the last straw. The icing on the cake of suck. I don't want to fucking deal with anything else today, but I have to because the only way that Jeep is going to run before Saturday is if I get
hafoc to give it a jump when he gets home (as opposed to getting him to do it on Saturday). If he will with the Mustang, he might not. Otherwise I get to see if I remembered/could afford to renew my AAA membership and see if they can send a truck over to give me a jump tomorrow.... And he's home and put the car in before I could grab him to ask about a jump. Fuck it.
