The Shadows on My Wall Don't Sleep

Opted to have an infected molar extracted rather than pour money and painful time into killing the infection and having a root canal and crown. As the dentist put it, missing one tooth won't bother me and putting the money into restoring the other teeth would be money better spent.

I just wish anesthetic and painkillers didn't metabolize so fast with me. I wasn't even out of the office before the gaping hole where the tooth used to be started itching and aching.

The craft output of the last year has not been up to the usual level due to life events. I know I mentioned my mother's valve replacement surgery that was scheduled for last summer and ended up being last fall. What I didn't mention is the reason for the delay; my Dad died. I spent late summer and fall with Mom and my brother and didn't get home until early November, which is also why you didn't see any hints of NaNoWriMo last year. I wanted to do NaNo but there was just nothing for me to work with, not even enough to really get a character or setting started, and absolutely no energy to write with, especially not with nearly a third of the month passed already. It hurt a bit to skip a year but not as much as trying and failing would have.

Anyway, I did actually get some crafty things done in the second half of last year. ( Many photos behind the cut. )

I've let this slide a lot lately, it's requiring something like effort and I've been putting it off. So, as has become my habit, you get a catch up post of tedious length.

First off, NaNoWriMo.

I only posted once, which is generally a very bad sign. Well I did hammer out 50,000 words and "win" again but it was soul sucking and joyless and the first pass edit took out nearly half of those words. I spent all month restarting the story and getting myself to points where I hated everything about it and restarting it again. I think I can maybe tweak three of those false starts into one timeline but I suspect still more words will be cut out before I even think about adding to them.

So the lesson of this NaNo? If I don't have something I'm really interested in writing, do not do NaNo. Also, if that interesting thing involves any amount of "mystery" to the plot I'm basically shooting my foot before I start the race. I'm just plain bad at writing mystery, probably because I'm bad at figuring them out in the first place. XD

Other things. Well part of the hassle of NaNo was that there was kitchen renovation going on while I was trying to write. We have an awesome kitchen now though. :)

I think I'm down to the knitting portion of our program, so have a cut. ( Have some knitting related news. )

And that leaves one bit of knitting out from under the cut. Why? Because I actually wrote up the pattern and put it up for sale today.



Modeled on two different dolls. (The booty shot is my new girl, Talar, who also needs a photo shoot....)

As a result of having this pattern up for sale I've been dusting off Omnifariously Knotty. I need to get that site template working with OpenID (the hooks are all there, the layout just doesn't display anything for it) and, you know, put some content in there. XD

I think I was the youngest voter in there. Though I imagine that most of my age bracket either went on their lunch hour or will go after work. If they vote at all.

Now I really should get to writing, even if I have no idea what comes next.

I should probably remark on being another year older, and presumably wiser. I'm not huge on doing something special for my birthday, but it's nice to have it acknowledged. To me birthdays aren't so much about age (other than those significant ones like "you are now old enough to get a driver's lilcense/vote/buy your own damned beer/etc") but as a day that people might say "I'm glad you were born so I could meet you". So far I'm running about equal with comments from people and from computers, the computers have the advantage of better memories for dates. ;)

About ten minutes on the phone, and on the air (WKMT northern Michigan). A few verbal flubs, minor ones, and I was probably talking a bit fast, but I think it went okay.

I also got to put an email address out on the radio, custom set up for today, so if anyone is looking for a computer geek in northern Michigan they can chat with one that did a little work on CASPER.

One of the forums I frequent is in the midst of a mudslinging bitchfest on the possibility/impossibility of being both overweight/fat and healthy. I'm not going to bother with generalizations like that. It just got me thinking about my own personal history and my recent apparent weight loss (such as it is).

The lightest I can remember weighing was 193 pounds. I can remember the number because I was so damned proud that I had lost 15 pounds. I was down to a size 14, I remember because I found some awesome robin's egg blue jeans with totally useless zippers in the pockets (useless in the design sense, they served no purpose at all) and they had a 34" waist. I was 5'4" and hadn't yet had to look for "tall" jeans. I was 12.

The smallest size I can remember wearing in my adult life was when I was 21, I was 5'9" and a size 24. I remember because I was having to get new clothing of some sort almost every weekend because of how quickly I was dropping sizes. I went from a size 32 to the 24 in just a semester or so, probably due to walking on average 5 miles a day 5 days a week with one weekend of all day hikes once a month. My bra size went nuts, from a 50B to a 38DD/36DDD and I was buying every bright color and wild print I could get my hands on because I could. No more plain beige, white, or black bras! I discovered that underwires were actually pretty damned awesome if they fit right. It was the first time that my bust became the fit issue with clothing rather than my belly.

I went from an estimated 360 pounds to 325. I know because I actually joined a gym and stood on a scale. I was bench pressing 197 pounds, curling 45, and resorted to the pneumatic leg press machine because it offered 790 pounds of resistance. I started training with the vague idea of making getting into power lifting competitions. I also developed a hatred for bikes and treadmills that had nothing to do with my aerobic abilities and everything to do with my still being very large and tall. Bikes never had a seat adjustment that made pedaling comfortable (and we will not discuss the comfort of the seats) and treadmills are made remarkably narrow for a device encouraged to be used for weight loss. Stairclimbers are of the devil.

Now, as of today, I am 327 pounds (if the scale is to be believed) and I have no clue what my actual size is. Based on the jeans that I have on hand it's probably a 28/30. I'm a lot less muscular than I was, alas. I can, in stretch knits and empire waisted styles with ample fabric below the bust, wear a size 24/26 shirt. I tend toward 2X tees that show that "yes, I do have boobs, thanks, stop calling me sir" rather than going immediately for the loose 3Xs. I find myself fairly comfortable about my size and body with the exception of my belly. The T&A are looking rather nice lately, in my opinion.

Thankfully, I know, if the trend in weight lost continues, the belly will solve itself. I have always lost weight in a certain pattern, under the bust for a while, from the face and neck, and then back to the underbust and belly, then thighs. I don't know after that because I haven't ever managed to get that far. Hopefully the boobs never get on the list because I've always, always been cheated in that department. A woman hauling around as many pounds as I do should have a RACK, goddammit!

So, okay, there is evidence that I have indeed lost a bit of weight over the last few months. My belts are fitting in smaller holes than they were and the painted on jeans that used to cut into my waist are now actually comfy and even require a belt to feel secure. However, the black jeans still don't fit so I figured I hadn't really lost that much.

Except, black jeans always run small. The brown jeans in the same size fit great, and presumably the blue ones will as well. But the real OMG moment was when I pulled out one of my cardigans. I have three of the same style in different colors but have been wearing only the black one in recent years since it's one size larger than the others and the style is supposed to be oversized. Today I pulled out the blue one....

I'm swimming in this thing. O.O! WTF?! I have inadequate means to convey the amount of shock I am experiencing. When I bought the "3x" tank top labeled 22/24 and it fit nicely I figured it was weird vanity sizing from Just My Size but now I have to wonder. I know there is no way I'm really a 22/24, but maybe 28 as the jeans claim isn't that far off....

What the hell have I been doing? I can't keep it up if I don't know what it is!

And I've slept so I can post. :)

The cats got FAT while I was gone. I know they tend to overeat when I'm gone but, wow, they are pudgy. :D They'll lose it in short order if the pattern holds. I think they boredom eat (or maybe comfort eat) when I'm not around.

I'll be writing up a knitted hat pattern soon and I think I'll put it up for sale. I need to set a price though, I suck at that. Time to research what knitted hat patterns tend to sell for.

By the way, anyone on my friends list have a noggin that measures 20" around? I've test knit the 22 and 24" sizes but I don't have a convenient 20" skull to try the small size on. I'll post a photo of some of the hats I knit later and if you have a 20" head and think you'd wear one we can talk. :)

More knitting related updates to come later.

Now to get to the unpacking and assorted post-trip chores.

Nice. bright, sunny day... and I have a migraine. The only reason I'm awake at the moment is because Patches knocked stuff over trying to get in with my knitting (new sweater, cat approved, pre-furred!).

Still too soon to take more pain killers, wonderful.